Hi friends! Happy Friday! Sorry to disappoint, but I don’t have a recipe today. Going a little deeper than the kitchen…
When I began this blog in May, I thought I’d limit my posts to recipes, workouts and tips. Well we’ve gotten a bit more personal on the Little Honey Bee. I was really reluctant at first but now I am okay with it. While I certainly do not share everything on the blog (I like to keep some things private) I do like writing about my ongoing journey about maintaining a healthy lifestyle.
Why? Because I enjoy reading these posts and relating to them on other blogs. Blogland is very much a community in the 21st-century sense of the word. I certainly find it helpful to read about other’s struggles and triumphs and that is my goal when writing these more personal posts.
Before we get to today’s post, here’s what you’ve missed:
Part 1: Changing My Ways
Part 2: New Goals
Part 3: Weight Loss
All caught up? Great, let’s keep going.
As I’ve told you, over the last two-years I have lost a bunch of weight — roughly 25 pounds.
Of course people noticed, and yes many were even concerned. Eating disorder? Other illness? Nope! I just changed my lifestyle.
At first, their concern made me frustrated and even angry. Why couldn’t they just accept that this was the new and improved Amy?
When I moved back to Toronto, this was heightened because many of my friends and family had not seen me in a long time. They told me I was too skinny; that I needed to eat more; that I needed to gain weight.
Lose weight? Now gain weight? I was confused and emotional. I finally felt confident in my own skin and now it was not good enough. [sidenote: I passed all check-ups with flying colors]
I tried to please people so I put pressure on myself to build muscle this summer. It’s not that I don’t want to build muscle (I do!) but I want to do this for myself and on my own terms. Not for anyone else or on their timeline.
This and the other changes I have faced over the past few months have been true tests of my confidence and emotional strength.
It certainly has not been easy. There have been many ups and downs as I regain my sense of self in this new chapter of my life: returning home, beginning a new job, living a healthier life, reconnecting with old friends and making new ones.
These intertwined journeys have taught me that it’s okay to do things for me. It’s okay to be honest with my boss. It’s okay to lean on friends for support. It’s okay to turn down that doughnut when I really don’t want it. And it’s okay to eat it when I do!
Today, I look in the mirror and feel happy with who I see. Of course, I still have my struggles. I sometimes feel down; I sometimes feel confused and I sometimes don’t feel pretty. I sometimes even need to remind myself that I can totally get that extra scoop of pralines and cream.
But when I feel these struggles boiling up I remind myself of one thing: confidence.
While easier said than done, this reminder helps to silence the inner and outer critics. I encourage myself to feel good about the choices I make because they’re mine. I choose to live as I do: I love brussel sprouts, I enjoy waking up at 5am to run and I pick-and-choose my sweet treats. This all makes me happy, and isn’t that the goal?
I know my dad tells me that “it’s okay to have a burger.” Well yes I know that. But I don’t want a burger. Call me crazy but I’d much prefer a portobello mushroom grilled to perfection.
I never thought I’d trade in my beer and Sun Chips for kale and kettlebells.
But I have. And this is me. And I’m confident with that.
Now that that’s out of the way, we’ll get back to yummy recipes and sweaty workouts… but I thank you for reading… it was a long one :)
Hope you have a wonderful Friday and fabulous weekend!
Please be honest: do you enjoy these more personal posts?
Do you ever struggle with confidence; if so, what do you do?
On a lighter note… any fun weekend plans?! Tomorrow is my 10K race!
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